Movie: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (PG-13)
Released: June 6th, 2008
Runtime: 1 hr. 53 min.
Ticket Price: $5.00 Early Matinee
Starring: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Nick Swardson & Lainie Kazan
Director: Dennis Dugan
Rating: It Might Be on TV One Day
Synopsis: A legendary Israeli commando is tired of all the fighting in his country and decides to fake his own death and head to New York to start a new life, as a hairstylist. He becomes a big hit with the ladies, because of his sexy cuts, but it also gets him noticed by enemy Arabs. So, he has to use his training to stay alive and continue cutting hair.
Review: If you are looking for a quiet place to spend a couple of hours, then You Don’t Mess with the Zohan might just be the movie for you. You’ll get almost two hours of rarely amusing shtick, so you won’t be bothered by any boisterous laughter from your fellow moviegoers.
Saying this movie is over the top would be being generous. This is so over the top that you can’t see the top. That is not always a bad thing, if you can bring the laughs. But, unless you think using hummus for everything from toothpaste to hair gel to fire retardant and a whole myriad of other uses or getting busy with a bunch of 60 to 80 year old women over and over and over again is funny, then Zohan doesn’t bring any.
You may get the occasional smile inducing moment, but they are so few and far between. It wasn’t 10 minutes in that I was wishing I had gone to see Kung Fu Panda this week instead, because that has to be better and funnier than this.
The only redeeming factor of this whole debacle is the amazingly beautiful Emmanuelle Chriqui (On the Line, TV’s Entourage). Very much like Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck or Jessica Biel in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Both were terribly unfunny movies, where the leading ladies seemed to be slumming it for some unknown reason. Unfortunately, this looks to be the case, yet again, for Alba in the upcoming The Love Guru and for Chriqui here.
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan is great advice, because it’s really bad and not in a good way. If Strange Wilderness hadn’t been watched earlier this year, then this would have been the worst comedy of the year so far. As it stands now, it is number two on that list.